staying alive.

stay alive, all your life.

- wendell berry

my grandparents on one side sold their dream home and took up the vagabond lifestyle this week, all for the sake of seeing more of their family. my other grandfather just got engaged. at 83. here's to staying alive.

snap, snap.

standing in line, i hand the girl behind the conveyer belt a smile and a warm, texan, 'hi, how are ya?'. the man behind me in line lightens the load on his face. somehow the world just got a little smaller and a little more friendly. she laughs with me as i stack {stuff} all my goods into my canvas tote. today's purchase total hits the screen and its my cue to reveal my dirty little secret.


i am purchasing all this food with your money, mr. middle-class man {this is a 100% assumption, btw}.


it's true. i'm on food stamps {now re-named, the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program}. on the ninth day of each month, $87.00 hits my Maryland Independence Card and i head to whole foods. before this development, i would find myself walking around whole foods in a daze... so austin, so swanky, so out of my budget. and now, i walk in and get to business. let's be clear; it's still in a daze, only now, i don't have to wake up. local kale and smart dogs, that's right, you're comin' home with me.


i had some pretty competing feelings about recieving federal benefits at first. until i went through the process. which was long, tedious, and definitly required a car, people. they are NOT just handing these benefits out. further mythbusting can be accomplished, here.


and now, i treasure the moment that the middle-class-looking white girl whips out her food stamps and turns perception on its head. according to the US dept of ag, 41% of participanting SNAP households are white; 36% are african-american; 18% are hispanic; 3% are asian, and 2% are native american. so, i'm not sure why he acted so surprised.

this year i am happily dipping below the poverty line. with a yearly salary of $10,830, i am sitting pretty in poverty. and while i could pretty readily access the additional resources if i needed them {right, mom?}, it's probably true that many of the other 28.4 million recieving food stamps in this country couldn't. and it wouldn't hurt to know how that feels. so here i am, buying less and loving it.


dear, mr. grimacing man, want a bite of my smart dog?

jewels.

as aforementioned, i think that i might just have the best job in baltimore. and not only because of what i get to do, but mostly because of who i get to do it with. le me esplain {channelling liberty house, here}.

here's the what and who.

in a nutshell, i am part of a project interested in reducing residential energy-use in the city of baltimore. this means lowering the carbon emissions of the city. this means reducing energy bills across the board and especially for residents for whom money is a minute-to-minute concern. this means i get to work alongside two neighborhoods in this charmed city as, together, we empower residents to increase the energy-efficiency of their homes by reducing the barriers {cost, inaccessible knowledge, time, habit, more pressing concerns} and increasing the benefits {lower utility costs, safer neighborhoods, interest and pride in one's community, connectedness to neighbors both locally and globally} of taking such steps.  now, this all sounds romantic, but it also means that most days i feel like an out-of-place over-privileged whitie {an infamous tran-ism}. more on all this one day...

and i am convinced that even though the nature of this work really excites me, i know that what makes this job more than a job is the folks that i am charmed to be surrounded by each day. our core group of 4 BNEC family members {and our newest recruit} are incredible human beings. filled with story, energy, humor, boldness, curiosity, compassion, knowledge these people are such jewels in my everyday-baltimore-affairs. and i am reminded that the 'success' of an experience is not measured by the meaningfulness of what you do or do not accomplish but by the meaningfulness of the relationships that carry you through and beyond the experience itself. 

here's to treasuring the jewels of your everyday-wherever-affairs.

and in other news, last weekend fin and i were just wandering around when we accidentally drove right into this place {too bad kate and the 8 weren't there also}... 

is this tweeting?

just sitting here 
ignoring this 
anticipating him.


chirp. chirp. err, tweet?